Here's an imaginary conversation I had with myself...
Me: My vacuum cleaner doesn't suck.
Myself: That's good.
Me: No... that's bad. Vacuum cleaners are supposed to suck. Mine doesn't.
Myself: Oh. That sucks.
Me: Actually it doesn't. That's the whole problem.
Myself: You want it to suck?
Me: Exactly.
Myself: Uh... who's on first?
Okay, okay, okay... I thought that was pretty funny. But it is true. I've got to go vacuum cleaner shopping. It's pretty hard to be cool while going shopping for a vacuum cleaner. That's got to be about the most uncool thing you can do. I'm not looking forward to it.