Today, I want to write about a bunch of asses. Literally. Let me explain... There was an article in today's local newspaper about a guy from my hometown who raises "guard donkeys." It turns out that donkeys have a natural hatred towards dogs and other dog-like animals (including wolves, coyotes, foxes and so on.) Not only do donkeys not like dogs, they will actually try to kick the crap out of them and I hear that they're pretty darn good at it too. A donkey can dish out a pretty mean kick, and is able to kick forwards, backwards, or sideways, and can kick while standing still or while running. Anyway, sometimes cattle ranchers have problems with wild animals attacking their herds of cattle. That's where these guard donkeys come in. The donkeys are rented out to the ranchers (the going rate is CAN$300 per donkey per season.) Once the donkeys are placed within a herd of cattle, the donkeys develop a possessive and protective attitude towards the cattle. They feel like they have to take care of them. After this point, if any unfortunate varmits (such as a wolf) were to try to attack the cattle, they would feel the full wrath of the kick of the guard donkey. The ranchers love it! They say that by renting two guard donkeys for a large herd of cattle, the herd will be protected from pretty much anything. Apparently this is the next big thing! I love it. Who'd have thought that a couple of real-life jack-asses would be the heros of the day. (Yes this is a true story. But I think the best part about guard donkeys are all the jack-ass jokes that come so naturally while you talk about the donkeys.) And besides, just think of it: guard donkeys! How utterly cool is that? I really can't think of anything cooler than guard donkeys.